Monday, May 4, 2015

Cats make Houdini look average.

 I was watching my grass grow this morning thinking doesn't grass grow quicker these days?
 When I grew up I don't remember my father cutting what passed for a lawn, mind you it wasn't easy.  Our house was on the side of a hill, our back garden (we didn't have a front garden) was pretty steep, indeed my father referred to it as the north face of Waun Wen, it made the Eiger look flat.
 But I digress!  Anyway my neighbours cat strolled across and made me think of the cats our family have had.  And worse taking them to the vets for treatment!
 Now we never had one of those cat basket things people have these days, we used a cardboard box.  My God, try putting an uncooperative cat in a box, it's easier to wrestle a hungry full grown tiger. Why in the name of all thats holy does a small cat need such sharp claws?  Who needs a Stanley knife, just borrow a cat for thirty seconds.  Scalpel?  Pahh thats blunt compared to a cat.
 After what seemed like a lifetime and covered in blood you finally got the cat in the box.  Now a word of caution.  DO NOT, NOT EVER make a hole in the box for the cat to breathe.  Now I know it's technically cruel but the cat won't suffocate.  And if you make the smallest hole in the box (even a pin prick) the bloody cat will use the weak spot, it'll have it's head through the hole in about three seconds, and in five it'll be sitting in the garden licking it's paws and laughing at your feeble attempt to confine it.
 But if you are the caring sort, a word of caution, don't make the hole after you put the cat in the box.  Curing your sick cat may be fairly easy for a vet, taking half a scissors out of it's brain takes longer, and trust me tiddles wont be too chuffed either!

No comments: