Sunday, April 19, 2015

Waterfalls and... Errr More sunsets.....



Do drink and drive.....


 The police have now advised driver to drink and drive.  No, honestly that's what they are saying.  Of course they don't mean you should drink alcohol, what they mean is dehydrated driver make as many mistakes as drunk drivers.
 Recent tests have shown that a dehydrated driver is as lightly to have an accident as a drunk driver, so the advise is to drink 200ml of water an hour. Of course this advise doesn't take into account the temperature, or how your supposed to go to the loo, as Britain has a chronic shortage of public toilets, especially near roads.
 It also raises another question, are drunk driving accidents actually caused by the alcohol, or by the fact that alcohol dehydrates you and the bad driving is a result of that rather than the effects of the alcohol? Buggered if I know.
 Oh course clever as it sounds it's missing a lot. Try driving with two young children in the back, I bet that's more dangerous that drunk driving, the distraction they cause is terrible, same if your and your partner have just had a massive barney. And what about smoking?  Smokers are lighting cigarettes and occasionally dropping then in their laps (my dad used to do this a lot) as they drive. Driving while tired or feeling ill, it's easy to say you shouldn't, but if loosing your job is at stake how many will stay at home? And lets be honest, if your 20 miles away from home and tired how many will actually stop, and try and find somewhere safe to have a kip. Not may!
 The problem is if you look hard enough you'll probably find road accidents increase if you eat marshmallows, or like trees, does it mean you should advise people not to eat them or like trees?, no it means people should use their own common sense about what they are doing. It's the nanny state again, next week we'll have meters in out cars measuring how much we drink.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Why for heavens sake ?


 What is it about shampoo makers?  Why can't they make a bottle of shampoo that will either stand up without falling over on even the slightest uneven surface (and baths are not usually flat) or open easily? 
 Seriously though, the bottles you can open are top heavy so they fall in the bath all the time, and for some reason they have a one inch hole for the shampoo to come out of. Who need half a pint of shampoo every time?. Then somehow with hands dripping in shampoo you have to put the top back on. Otherwise the open bottle will fall in the bath and to loose all the shampoo.
 The other option is the flip top bottles with a tiny hole, much better you say....  Except, the one I have is nearly impossible to open.  You see the tab you flip is tiny and with wet hands it's tricky to flip. But worse is the force needed to flip it, seriously it takes a lot of force, now that's not too bad if your a fit healthy guy, but not everybody is, I'm a burly bloke but I struggle to open the bloody thing, what happens if you have arthritis or something that affects dexterity, your buggered.
 So why does a simple shampoo bottle so difficult to make properly, it's not the twelve labours of Hecules for heaves sake it's something people use several times a day. Make the bastard thing stand up properly, the trick is to make it bottom heavy not bloody top heavy like they are now. And make them easy to open, having to use a samuri sword to get the top off is a pain in the arse!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Another sunset.


Garden flowers


Heres a few garden flowers, some of these are no more as a man with a petrol strimmer strimmed about 6 times as much as I strimmed with a normal strimmer in about twenty minutes. I took the best part of two fucking hours, one hour and forty five minutes of which was me changing the string.
I need a petrol strimmer!   No, fuck it!  I want a nuclear strimmer!.  



Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Correction... Well sort of...


 A few days ago I suggested that some years in the future it might be necessary to line up and shoot health and safety nutters so some work could be done... It's been pointed out to me that shooting people (even health and safety nutters) is inherently dangerous, and that it should be carried out under health and safety supervision.... And this is where it gets complicated.. You see if we're shooting the health and safety nutters does that count as supervision?, or do we need more health and safety nutters to actually supervise the shooting bit. If thats the case what do we then do with those health and safety nutters....  You see my problem.
 To be serious (just for a minute) I'm not suggesting that we really shoot anybody, but something does need to be done about the "silly" made up health and safety nonsense.  Yes there are genuine reasons for some health and safety, but so much rubbish is spouted, such as you cant play conkers, and that sort of fake health and safety.
 So heres a thought, make it a criminal offence to make any false health and safety claim, if it's not in the book then it's an automatic £10.000 fine and up to 10 years in jail if you if you make up false health and safety stuff, It's the only way you'll stop the bullshit.

 But please, if you do know any real health and safety people don't shoot them, they do save lives.

Colour Infrared


 Colour infrared is making something of a come back, the film originally designed for aerial photography made a hit with landscape photographers due to it's odd colours.
 Now the film is a little hard to get hold of, and it's not so easy to use as to get the full effect you need an IR filter for the camera. Some plastic body cameras can't be used, and neither can those cameras with a little window in the back showing what film you have loaded. This is because some are not IR light proof, so best to use an old metal film camera if you can find the film.
 Fortunately there is an easier way, photoshop to be exact, to get it exactly right is a bit fiddly as you need to convert to CMYK and swap channels, then add a Chanel mixer adjustment layer.
 Heres a few pics I have converted to show the effect. As you can see it works best on grass and trees.