Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Deodorant


 I've just wasted five minutes of my dwindling life trying to spray myself with deodorant, why five minutes?  Simple!. The bloody spray can has a safety catch, and not just any old safety catch, a hidden one.
 Now why a can of under arm deodorant needs a safety catch is a bigger question, I mean yes an AK47 should have a safety catch, and one of those buttons that launch air to air missiles needs a safety catch, but bloody under arm deodorant?  Why?  How dangerous is this stuff?
 I have nuclear strength oven cleaner in the kitchen, that hasn't got a safety catch and that will burn your eye's and lungs to a cinder in seconds.  I have fly spray, bloody lethal if your a bluebottle, but that doesn't have a safety catch either, and by God it make me cough if I use a lot of the stuff (no wonder it kills the bluebottles!)
 Yet something supposedly designed to spray on the human body, and presumably tested on poor long suffering bunnies is so dodgy it needs a secret hidden safety catch.  Fuck it!,  I'll just smell in future it's safer!

In the news this week


 The metropolitan police are making a big fuss about their own new SAS style officers for combating terrorists.... Good idea but it's not new, they have had them for years.  Originally named D6, then D11, then it changed to PT17, more recently it changed again to SO19, and is now called CO19.  Yes the training has got better but since PT 17 they were trained and used for hostage rescue etc.

 Well yesterday I was a proper hot sunny day, and of course offical panic set in.  Check your elderly neighbours we're told. Don't leave your dog in a car the same temperature as an oven we're told. Stay hydrated we're told. Wear factor 1.000.000 suncream we're told. (where was that in Nigasaki?}  Wear a hat, we're told.  Keep children in a dark airtight room we're told.... No hang on the last bits not quite right....  No, it was keep children out of the sun. Yes thats was it!.    Yes the nanny state went into burnout.

 On some beaches lifguards went round offering suncream to beach goes, why not ice cream?
 The problem is it's all a huge waste of time and money, you see the normal sensible people do these things anyway, and the morons simply ignore the advice

 Somehow all those years ago I spent the whole of my summer hollidays virtually living on the beach (6+ weeks} without all this advise,and couriously I'm still here.  My parents must have been sensible then... Yes common sense was a wonderful thing, I wonder what happened to it.......

 Well if you like tennis your in for a treat. If like me you don't your screwed!  The BBC {britain biggest cash-cow) has switched to Wimbleton mode, that means all our licence money is now being spent on champers and strawberries for the 17 million people the BBC laughingly calls an outside broadcast unit!  Seriously they probably have more people there than general public.  To add insult to wallet injury the entire BBC tv is now bloody Wimbleton fixated, we have Wimbleton weather forcast, fuck the licence payers who don't live in Wimbleton and want their weather.  We have Wimbleton news, we're fighting a war on terror and the high point of the news is ball pressure.  Then the programs... well there as some after about 18 hours of grunting overpaid idiots in shorts at... Yes you guessed it.. Bloody Wimbleton.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Top Gear. The end of an era.


 The Top Gear we've grown to know love or hate started on 20th Oct 2002.  Then it featured Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammon and Jaso Dawe, the following year Dawe was replaced by James May.
 The series first originally started in 1977, then it was presented by Angla Rippon and Tom Coyne, after many changes of presenters it ended in 2001.

The latest series (22) ended with episode 8 on June 28 2015.  This is the last episode to feature Clarkson, Hammond and May.  In the 13 years the show has run we've seen the team do all sorts of crazy things, from making cars float to making car trains, they have also suffered a number of injuries during it's run.  We'll all have out favorite moments. For me it's Jeremy Clarkson putting out claymore mines to keep alligators away, and then trying to explain a dead cow.

 I think the success of the series isn't so much the format, it's the cast and they way they interact, you can see them having fun and just being mates, it draws the viewer into it, you almost feel part of that group.  For me the series if and when it returns with Chris Evans just wont be the same, you can't make up what we've watched for 13 years, it either is or isn't fun to watch.  And frankly I'd rather watch my toenails grow than watch Chris Evans.   As dear old Jeremy might have said, Chris Evans is  about as much fun as a live lobster enema.

Personally I hope ITV, SKY or Netfilx snaps them up, after all they had 8 million + viewer and the best money making program on the BBC, it'll make somebody a ton of money, I can't speak for the other 8 million but I'll be watching a new show with Jeremy, Richard and James any day of the week.

In the meantime  Thanks for the 175 episodes guys, and good luck for the future!



          Clarkson Hammond and May in the last ever episode of them.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Old railway wagons and stuff (part 3 )


The final bath from our wander around a closed sidings.  As I mentioned in my first post please be careful around railway lines. Many of the photos here couldn't have been taken on or near an active line, that would have been far to dangerous.




Old railway wagons and stuff (part 2)


More pics.


Old railway wagons and stuff (part 1)


 Got some pics of old railway wagons and stuff.  Please don't play about near the railway lines. This is a closed siding, never go on active railway lines.



Friday, June 26, 2015

Cyclists.... Again


 Now don't get me wrong, I'm not down on cyclists, indeed I was one for many many years, even taking part in the EverReady century ride (100 miles in a day) and a regular on the London to Brighton ride (64 miles)  The difference is we rode properly, we obeyed the traffic laws, and we rode using common sense.
 These days cyclists seem sadly lacking in common sense.  Take the other day for example.  First I passed about 20 cyclists going the other way, the problem was they were on a narrow-ish road and riding 2 abreast all close together, this made it impossible for any cars to overtake them.  This causes driver to get frustrated driving along at 12 MPH, it's also causing congestion.  Even worse any driver lucky enough to squeeze past is then overtaken on both side by the cyclists at the next traffic lights and they push in front and block the road again.  Then they wonder when driver get mad at them.
 Later the same day I damn nearly had a head on collision with another cyclist who came speeding around a blind corner on the wrong side of the main road, talk about bloody stupid!

 So here's some ideas to make the roads safer for both motorists and cyclists.

1.  Make it an offence to cyclists to ride two or more abreast.

2.  Make it an offence for cyclists to overtake traffic stopped at traffic lights/ junctions etc, let them wait in the queue of traffic like everybody else.

3. Actually stop and prosecute cyclists who ride on the pavement and who just ignore traffic lights.

4.  Make cyclists have insurance and an ID number like other road users, this would help prosecute bad riders and help in the event of accidents.

5.  Make it an offence for cyclists to ride on the road when the road has a cycle path, the whole point of the bloody expensive cycle path is to make it safer for cyclists.

6.  Make it compulsory for cyclists to have bright hi-vis clothing, helmets and lights after dark.  Now the law says they need lights after sunset, but almost every day I'll see some moron in dark clothing and with no lights cycling down the middle of a busy road.  Car driver have to wear a seat belt to save the NHS money, why can cyclist cost the NHS a fortune every year by falling on their heads?