Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Rubbish adverts and daft people...

 I've just seen an advert on telly, mans voice shouting "the carpet washer everybody is talking about!!!"   Errr no it's not fuckwit, I can't remember the last time I even heard anybody mention "washing" their carpets.

 Today I popped into town to get some battries i forgot to get yesterday, while sitting on an empty bench in the town centre some dopy woman comes and sits by me, and I mean by me, she bloody nearly sat on my lap silly cow, theres a whole big bench and she stits pressed up against me. Obviously shes never heard the expression personal space, I moved away from her and said whats the matter, bench not big enough for you.
 I've had it with these idiots.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Finding Bigfoot (well not finding it really)

 I was channel hopping last night trying to find something to watch (and loosing the will to live) Why is it that with several hundred channels all I can even find on is old episodes of Porridge, Dads Army or Discovery programs I watched in 1987. 
 Anyway I stumbled across Finding Bigfoot, or to be more precise Not Finding Bigfoot.  Now I've commented on this series before but it really does my head in. Why walk through the woods knocking trees and shouting? Thats not the way to see nature, trust me it's not.  You need to move quietly or better still sit and wait for nature to think you've gone.
 Then theres their night vision gear.  It's being paid for by the tv company, so why use crap old IR lit night vision.  Buy the latest generation 4 stuff, the difference is amazing, it's like being there in daylight.... And thats another point!  Almost all the sighting are in daylight or dusk, so why go looking at night in the first place?  
 Monkeys and other primates tend to be more active during daylight, yes it's true they do forage after dark sometimes but thats been found to be a response to avoiding other groups who operate in the same area in daylight, Bigfoot communities probably don't have that problem as there can't be many of them.

 So here is a serious offer Discovery.  Pay for me and my team (no not Billy the dog I'm being serious for a minute) to travel to a lightly Bigfoot hot spot, provide us the right kit and I'll lead my team into the woods for a few weeks (one night is just being bloody silly Discovery) we'll need to be resupplied maybe once a week or so depending on conditions but we'll carry out a proper real search for bigfoot.  If it exists and if it's in the area we'll find it or proper signs of it.... But them we won't be crashing through the woods like a childrens dance group, and we know how to hide and how to find people who are trying to hide from us... like Bigfoot...   Real serious offer.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Feel like crap today

I feel bloody awful today, I think I have Cat leg foot pox, Upper Nile fever, Bubonic plague, Dengue fever, Zika virus, Typhoid fever, Rabies, Cholera, Bilharzia, Ebola, Bird flu, Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever, West Nile virus, Naegleria fowleri, and Kuru disease.... or a bad cold......  Well I am a bloke...

Friday, February 19, 2016

Arrowhead (film review)

 "Arrowhead is a tale of survival set amongst the distant stars. Kye is a prisoner of war caught between two armies that he doesn't believe in. When offered an opportunity for freedom, Kye sets out on one last rescue mission, only to become stranded on a desert moon when his ship - the Arrowhead - crash lands. Kye has to learn to survive when we discovers a new life form that will challenge his very body and soul." IMDb

 Staring Dan Mor, Aleisha Rose, and Christopher Kirby. And filmed in Australia.
 The film is a bit of mix, it's a prison break, part the martian, and part star ship troopers with a hint of Pitch Black thrown in.
 As science fiction goes it's not bad but I did find it a bit confusing, I got the feeling it's been heavily edited and there were bits missing (I might be wrong) Special effects were ok.

 Waynes rating 5/10 maybe worth a look if your into sc-fi

Stale Baguette Recipe

 Like most people who eat French bread/Baguette you'll end up with a stale piece left over every now and again.  Well it's a shame to waste it so heres a simple use it up Recipe.
 Get your stale length of Baguette, wet your hands and wet the outside fairly well, not soaking and not the cut end, although don't worry if it does get a bit wet.
 Pop it in a medium oven for about 5 - 8 minutes, we don't want it crispy just hot and soft. 
 Take it and cut it open, now spread some butter on the inside (or olive oil if you prefer) then grate in some strong cheese.
 Now wrap it in cooking foil twist up the ends and bung it back in the oven for about 5-10 minutes.  you want the outside just crispy and the cheese melted.  Now scoff it quick before someone else does.

The Hatefull Eight (film review)

"Some time after the Civil War, a stagecoach hurtles through the wintry Wyoming landscape. Bounty hunter John Ruth and his fugitive captive Daisy Domergue race towards the town of Red Rock, where Ruth will bring Daisy to justice. Along the road, they encounter Major Marquis Warren (an infamous bounty hunter) and Chris Mannix (a man who claims to be Red Rock's new sheriff). Lost in a blizzard, the bunch seeks refuge at Minnie's Haberdashery. When they arrive they are greeted by unfamiliar faces: Bob, who claims to be taking care of the place while Minnie is gone; Oswaldo Mobray, the hangman of Red Rock; Joe Gage, a cow puncher; and confederate general Sanford Smithers. As the storm overtakes the mountainside, the eight travelers come to learn that they might not make it to Red Rock after all..."  IMDb

 Staring Samuel L Jackson, Kurt Russel, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walter Gogins, Damian Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madson, Bruce Dem. And directed by Quentin Tarantino.

 This is a western, but with a difference.  Rather than the usual shoot'em'up riding across the range, killing Indians, this is much more subtle.  Not an Indian in sight. A group of people thrown together in a cabin, more a who's who, or psychological thriller than a cowboy film. 
 I found it slow starting, but with solid acting right through, the sets and weapons are right (yes they did have a muzzle flash with gun powder)  The film starts to grip you after a while and you start wondering what is going on behind the scenes, who is good and who is bad, and why.
 I not going to give too much away but it wouldn't be a Tarantino without some blood and gore....

Waynes rating.  8/10 Worth a watch.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Well we did have our meal.. eventually

 As I mentioned in an earlier post it was my dear mums birthday yesterday and at half six I was still waiting to find out what was happening.
 The problem was the last few times we've gone to the Dylan Thomas in Llansamlet. Now while the food is nice and you get a decent helping, theres not a massive range of choices, that and last time we were there there was a children's party with a lot of very noisy people and children running wild in there, and the same people were there again when my brother called in, so thats the end of going there.  The song the wheels on your house go around and around comes to mind
 There was a suggestion of the grape and olive at the top of the tower in the marina, but neither my mum or my brother are good with heights (which makes no sense when he went up the twin towers in New York)
 I suggested Smokehaus in Swansea, but again the range of food is a bit limited for my mum, although I'd love to go there myself and my youngest son goes fairly often.
 My mum didn't want to go too far from home Llansamlet... so we ended up in... Mumbles, about as far away as we could get locally without our bloody passports. We ended up in Castellmare by Braclet bay in mumbles. Not the cheapest place about but to be fair the food and service were excelent. My brother and my son both had steak, and for once it was cooked properly medium rare, all too often steak is overcooked.  I had chicken and that was lovely too. The food appeares to be proper fresh made stuff not just bought in a packet like some places
 The big issue though was we didn't get home till nearly eleven, we didn't start eating till gone eight.

Some people are their own worst enemy

 Some people are their own worst enemy.
 Over the years I've done my share of camping, although not for some time now. A fellow camper/hiker linked a video to a forum I'm on showing how to refill a disposable gas canister from a camping stove, the process involves a sort of screw gadget and  holding the cylinders together rather like refilling a gas lighter. The difference being theres a lot of gas involved and the canister your trying to refill isn't designed to be refilled.
 I'm not going to link the video because it's downright bloody dangerous, and personally I think anyone even trying it must be bonkers.  Lets face it the canisters are not expensive to buy in the first place, only a couple of quid.
 And more importantly I've seen what happens when gas goes wrong.  I had to drive a very badly burnt man to hospital after he blew up his lorry, blew all the windows out and burnt out the inside, he was badly burnt too, he was just changing an empty (or so he thought) canister and it exploded.
 He was lucky, he survived, but the 4 people in the house near where I used to live didn't, that was gas again, it blew me out of bed, took out pretty much all the windows in the street and took 2 normal houses down to the level of the downstairs windows.
 So please don't mess about with gas canisters, yes you'll save a few quid but it's properly dangerous, you won't be able to refill them fully anyway because of pressure equalization and they are not designed to be refilled, the valves may leak after.
 Darwin was right, I suppose it's natures way of culling the weak and mentally challenged of the herd.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016


 Isn't it going well.  it's my mothers birthday today, we're going out for a meal, it's half six and I'm still waiting to find out where we're supposed to be going... Mobile fucking phones, I need a medium not a phone....

A black and white.

 My favorite shot from the weekend. Available light, what there was of it (high iso)

A few food pics

 Yes I did ... sample the food...

Monday, February 15, 2016


 Well we are on our second dry day, no doubt a hosepipe ban will be in force any time. 
 This week the climate change "experts" (it's not called global warming any more, you'll find out why in a minute) who for years have been predicting doom and gloom with the earth getting hotter, and making us all pay a green tax. These by the way the same "experts" who got trapped in the sea ice thats all supposed to have melted a year or so back.
 Anyway it now seems our sun going into a low activity cycle, this means a mini ice age is lightly.
 So we have global warming and an ice age at the same time.... You couldn't make this stuff up could you.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Oh Joy a Christening.... yeahhh! (sarcasm alert)

 Oh Joy a Christening.  I am going to a sort of family Christening today... on pain of death. 
 Now it's not that I don't like children, indeed I love my own very much, but why do people think I want to spend time with their children? 
 Older children are not too bad, at least you can talk to them and they can be half sensible.. well occasionally.  But younger children annoy me, I was glad to see mine grow up, why the hell would I want to see someone else have a hissy-fit.
 Having worked in a studio and having to photograph the little blighter was bad enough, doing it for "fun" is barmy.  I have a mate with a studio, lots of his work is with children, he must have the patience's of a saint, a few years of that and I'd be up on a murder charge..
 And that brings me to the Christening, yes it's great for the parents, but for others and a photographer it's a pain in the backside. First I have to go to church, and I'm not the most religious bloke you'll meet, then theres the hassle of trying to take pics of a crying baby in the darkest church in Europe (Guinness book of records confirmation waiting)  With the vicar probably moaning about flash ruining his grotty pitch black church.  Well take the bloody wood off the windows and I won't need flash, what is it with vicars, are they all vampires and have to stay out of the light?

Friday, February 12, 2016

Natures barbed wire!

 I bloody hate brambles, my garden has a "wall" of the bastards at the bottom of it.  Yes great it keeps out people cutting through, and since I trailed a few over the back gate the local prowler has given my garden a miss (he's probably having plastic surgery done somewhere to put his face back together) But I digress.
 As I was saying brambles!  I went out yesterday as it was almost dry for a change, to look for a location near my house, I'd spotted a place on the map that looked interesting. My God what a PITA to try and get to.
 For a start the ground was a bog, it's normally a little bit muddy in places, but bloody hell I've seen drier rice paddy's, I was wading through thick mud, then we get to the brambles. Oh dear God!  Talk about barbed wire, it was ridiculous, they were 4 foot high and thick a finger, I went as far as I could but without a machete it was hopeless.
 By then I looked like a hairy mud wrestler dripping blood. My right legs gone, ripped off below the knee by the bloody brambles, my left isn't so bad, I still have a bloody stump there so thats ok.  I hopped home and threw my clothes (what was left of them ) into my washing machine and started cleaning my wounds, and making a wooden leg.
 Lucky my legs grew back overnight (don't try this children, you might not be so lucky) but the right one is still sore.
 But the whole thing does raise a serious question.  What is it about brambles that make them so important in nature that they need that level of defence. Seriously I'd rather have taken my chances going over the top in Flanders, for a start it was probably less muddy and the coils of barbed wire had nothing on the bloody brambles I went through.
 So I've had a think and learnt a lesson from WW1, next time I go back I'm going to get some artillery to shell the barbed wire.... Errrr brambles I mean, lets face it a sustained barrage of say a month might actually destroy at least two brambles....

Sunday, February 7, 2016

X-files update

I wasn't taken with the first two episodes of the new outing of the X-Files, but the third episode was much better, more like the old early X-Files was, before it got too silly with cancer man and all the conspiracy stuff. Fingers crossed for the rest of the series.

I've just about given up with American tv series.

 I have just about given up with American tv series.  Seriously what is it with them.  A 12 part series take 18 weeks because theres a gap of a week or two every few episodes.
 Then theres the false danger/cliff-hanger bullshit just before every advert break, you know the sort of stuff. Dramatic music, Fred climbs over the edge of a small drop, noise of something falling.  Harry starts shouting "Fred! Fred! Are you ok, what happened, are you alive?"  Then long dramatic pause and Fred sticks his head up and say "Yes I'm ok, my shoelace snapped" or some utter crap nonsense rubbish.  Don't they realise if the program is so boring they need that it's time to stop making the program.
 Then we have the "catch-up" shit after every advert break, the first five minutes of the next segment is showing what happened in the shit fake exciting climax before the adverts... What the fuck!  How long do they think peoples memories are, even a fucking mayfly with Alzheimer's disease can remember what happened before the bloody adverts! It was four fucking minutes ago for Gods sake.
 Now the latest craze is replacing the stars, One series I watch (or used to) has changed both the stars three times, each time for the worst. Come-on guys give it up.
 Rant over.....

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

X-Files returns

 The X-Files has returned after I think 14 years. Staring Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully and David Duchovny as Fox Mulder, and Mitch Pileggi as Walter Skinner (all from the original series)
 The story more or less picks up from where the old series finished.  It's too early to say if it'll be a success like the original series.

Space Cop 2016 (film review)

 "Space Cop is the story of a cop from the future of space who travels back in time to the present and is teamed up with a cop from the past who is unfrozen in the present. Together, they must defeat evil aliens with a sinister plan." IMDb

 To be honest I don't really know where to start with this film.  It stars Rich Evans as Space Cop and Mike Stoklasa as Detective Ted Cooper.  The plot is a Judge Dredd type cop from the future goes back in time to 2007 and ends up teamed with a detective who was frozen in the past to catch aliens.
 The film is listed as a comedy sci-fi... Well it's a bit sci-fi but I didn't see much comedy.
 Acting was bloody awful, special effects had been outsoursed to India? at least thats how they looked, George Lucas would wet himself laughing if he saw how poor they were.

Waynes rating  1/10  save your money it's crap.