Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The end of another year


 Well it'll soon be the end of 2015, another year has passed us by.

 Celebrities we lost this year. 
 Wes Craven,  Donna Douglas, Leonard Nimoy,
Jackie Collins, "Lost Boys" Brook McCarter, Robert Loggia, Scott Weiland, "ET's" Melissa Mathison, Maureen O'Hara, Jpoan Leslie, "Adam12/Route 66" Martin Milner, Judy Carne, "Batman" Yvonne Craig, Lynne Anderson, Omar Sharif, Patrick Macnee, Randy Howard, "Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane" James Best, "Lynyrd Skynyrd" Bob Burns, Louis Jourdan, Anita Ekberg, Rod Taylor, "Are you being served" Nicholas Smith, Anthony Valentine, Warren Mitchell, Gorden Hunnycombe, Hugh Scully, Judy Carne, Colin Fry, "On the Buses" Stephen Lewis, George Cole, Cilla Black, Sir Christopher Lee, Keith Harris, Shaw Taylor, Anne Kirkbride, Bob Symes.  And many many more

 Things we've learned this year.
 Discovery now make soaps,
 MH370 is still missing (try looking in the right place guys!)
 The mobile phone signal in Wales has got worse.
 Poundland had Easter eggs on sale before Christmas.
 Mars one is no closer to getting to mars than I am.
 It's a really bad idea to build houses on floodplains (I knew this before mind)

 Anyway, this is to wish you all a very Happy New Year and my best wishes for 2016, and thanks for dropping by and reading my rants, and occasionally something sensible I write... Yes I know it's not very often, I'll try harder next year, honest guv!

Good luck and God bless.
Are You Being Served



Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Shape shifting aliens.... Why?


 I was seriously bored the other day so I wasted an hour or so of my rapidly diminishing life by surfing youtube  Now theres lots of interesting stuff on youtube, and a few people I sort of follow who post some really good videos.... the trouble is theres a lot of... well shall we be nice and say crap on there too.
 Following one link to another I stumbled into one of these conspiricy websites, one about shape shifting alien lizards.
 Yes I know what your thinking, and your probably right.  I did watch the video and theres a few points the poster missed out.
 Lets assume just for a second that you are a shape shifting lizard (why are they always lizards?) now lets also assume that the shape shifting bit is a form of camouflage. Why then does the alien lizard always slip back into the lizard in front of Joe Public and give the game away?  It seems that as a camouflage it's pretty crap if you cant maintain it. 
 Besides theres a lot more to it than a simple shapeshift as camouflage, you'd have to mimic speach patterns and voice. Now there are a few creatures that can mimic the call of another, but as far as I can remember none of these has any ability to actually look like the other creature it's copying, and as for having a conversation and fooling the person your talking too.... You get my point.
 Probably the best "shapeshifter" is the octopus, these twist themselves to mimic things like a flatfist, and can change colour to hide, but only fairly briefly.
 But I suppose the clincher for me is way would alien shapeshifter lizards come here in the first place, to be honest most of the people I know want to leave this place, I can't think of any who would cross billions of miles to get here.
 By the way check out Tesco Port Talbot for shape shifting idiots.. theres loads there.
 And NO! theres no picture, and I really can't be bothered to make one.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Childrens buggies


 What happened to children's buggies/pushchairs?  Twice in the last week I've been on a bus with them and it's bloody silly. Yes I know mothers have to take their children out, fair enough, but why are the buggies so big?
 They never used to be this size, and they used to simply fold up and go in your seat, the ones I've seen recently are the size of a VW beetle, honestly two of these on the bus and two mums take up eight seats, how can that make any sense.
 Yesterday I got on a bus with the usual eight seats missing and I honestly had a job to squeeze between the two buggies to get to a seat, indeed the driver of the bus couldn't see the passengers stand up to get off and drove past their stop. This is dangerous.  Seriously it really is, if the aisle is being obstructed and there's an emergency we have to get past these monstrosities.

Christmas spirit is still alive


 Today in Iceland (the shop not the country) I watched with some minor surprise an elderly lady with just a loaf of bread be waived up the queue by people all fighting to get to the checkout, I think four lots of people including me let her go in front.  It's nice to see theres still some people who are not selfish. A big thumbs up to all the kind people who helped her.

Merry Christmas to you all


 I'll take this opportunity (while I wait for my socks to dry) to wish you a very Merry Christmas holiday, and a Happy New Year. 
 May all your presents be large and all your problems be small. I wish you health, wealth and happiness for the coming year.
 While your sitting there scoffing turkey and Brussels sprouts think of those less fortunate than yourselves, if you have an elderly person living alone near you, just pop in and say hello, it might make a big difference to their day.
 Speaking of those less fortunate.... I like whisky......  Hell it's worth a try!

    Merry Christmas All  !!!

Note to Christmas TV advertisers....


 Putting on long silly Christmas adverts with people in horrid Christmas jumpers, blasting Christmas music and showing a table with £600 worth of food on really doesn't make me want to run to your shop and buy stuff, in fact it makes me want to shop somewhere that hasn't got the FUCKING TERRIBLE CHRISTMAS MUSIC!  I was in Tesco's a few days ago and we couldn't talk it was so loud.  It's a shop not a disco you stupid bastards.
 For God's sake turn it off, we're all sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Christmas and TV


 Doesn't Christmas really mess up telly.  Most of the series I follow all stopped about 2 bloody weeks ago for Christmas. Why?.  It's not as if they have Christmas off, the series are filmed months in advance anyway so they are off over the holiday period.
 If your following a series and theres a 4 week break you tend to forget whats happened a bit, and your more lightly to miss it when it comes back on because your routine has changed because you didn't watch so and so every Wednesday for the last few weeks, so you did something else.
American series seem to be the worst but I notice some British series are doing the same.
 Come on TV people, I know it's Christmas but I'd still like to watch normal TV, you really haven't got to show utter crap for 2 weeks, honestly you haven't!

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Apprentice final tonight


 It's the 2015 Apprentice final tonight, Vana Koutsomitis goes head to head with  Joseph Valente, personally I hope Joseph wins, in my opinion Vana has coasted through by keeping her head down, Joseph on the other hand has saved a few tasks, and seems a genuinely nice bloke.  That said neither of these would have been my choices from the starting crowd.
 Who will win?   Watch it and see like me.

Strange skies reported over Wales...


 There have been a number of reports of a strange glowing ball in the sky over Wales this morning, some people claim that the normally grey skies showed some blue hints.
 A few old age pensioners say they remember skies like this from their childhood in Wales, it was known then as blue skies and sunshine.......  And yes, I am a sarcastic bastard... but yesterday I was really grumpy as well as sarcastic!  Who knows what tomorrow will bring........

Friday, December 18, 2015

What do people expect from a job?


 Over the years I've seen people expect strange thins from a job, this week it was a man who catches fair dodgers on the London underground.  He caught a chap for dodging his fair and was promptly battered senseless. Now we all know he shouldn't have to be attacked at work, but the bit that got me was just how surprised he was about it.
 Lets be honest catching people dodging paying has to have an element of risk about it, so why be surprised when it happens?  I'm just surprised it doesn't happen every day.

 Then there was the policeman who got really annoyed about yobs shouting abuse at him during a street row "I don't expect to be treated like he says" (or something like that)  He's a bloody cop on duty, if he can't take a bit of verbal abuse he's in the wrong job isn't he. Did he really become a policeman expecting everybody he met to be nice?

 Then we the paramedics and police and sadly now the fire and rescue people (used to be the fire service) now refusing to go in and help people because there's some risk or other.
 Really? What the bloody hell did they think those jobs entailed? Mending muffins?  Sticking plasters on fluffy cushions?  Putting out very small fires in ash trays? No you silly sods, of course theres a risk, thats exactly the reason your there, to help, if there wasn't a problem they wouldn't have bloody called you would they.
 Having the police fire and ambulance standing there taking selfies while you burn to death must be a great comfort.

 Sadly I'm old enough to remember when these people did those jobs to serve and help their communities. Not because it was a "safe" job.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Isn't it strange how things just vanish?


 I don't know if your house is like mine, but by heck doesn't stuff just vanish.  Take for example my old army water bottles.  Each bottle comes with a plastic mug on the top, theres also a metal mug that's designed for heating food. Now the metal mug is pretty much the same shape as the plastic, but you can burn your mouth if the teas hot. Can I find the mugs off my water bottles.... No I bloody can't
 My plates are disappearing... Now I do know where they are going, my sons bedroom, but can I get them back... No!
 Then I spent an hour this morning trying to find a small pouch thing that goes on my belt and carries a large field dressing. Now I do admit I haven't needed to use the thing in years, but after the Paris attack the odds of needing a large dressing seem a lot more of a possibility. And as these things are made to treat a gunshot it occurred to me it just might come in handy.
 Yes, ok my dozy part of the world probably isn't high on ISIS target list, but I have really bad luck, so sod it I'm carrying the bastard...... Now where the bloody hell is that tourniquet......

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The walk 2015 (film review)


 "Twelve people have walked on the moon, but only one man - Philippe Petit (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) - has ever, or will ever, walk in the immense void between the World Trade Center towers. Guided by his real-life mentor, Papa Rudy (Ben Kingsley), and aided by an unlikely band of international recruits, Petit and his gang overcome long odds, betrayals, dissension and countless close calls to conceive and execute their mad plan. Robert Zemeckis, the director of such marvels as Forrest Gump, Cast Away, Back to the Future, Polar Express and Flight, again uses cutting edge technology in the service of an emotional, character-driven story. With innovative photo realistic techniques and IMAX 3D wizardry, The Walk is true big-screen cinema, a chance for moviegoers to viscerally experience the feeling of reaching the clouds. The film, a PG-rated, all-audience entertainment for moviegoers 8 to 80, unlike anything audiences have seen before, is a love letter to Paris and New York City in the 1970s, ..." IMDb

 Well having read what it says in IMDb  above and having just seen the film I'm wondering what they watched, cos it wasn't what I saw thats for sure!.
 Frankly the film is awful.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a inspector Clouseau-esque accent, and my God it's slow.
 While the CGI is well done and you'd swear they'd rebuilt the twin towers for the movie, it's painfully slow and boring, I was so bored I ate my own hand... luckily it grew back... regeneration I suppose, still it'll come in handy for something. 
 Seriously, give this film a miss and watch the million times better Man on a Wire 2008 that has the man himself Philippe Petit in it and actual footage of the real thing.

Waynes rating 1/10  And it only got the 1 for the CGI....




Sunday, December 13, 2015

X factor final.


Well tonight is the X Factor final,  in the final we Louisa Johnson, a talented singer with a great voice and we have Reggie "N" Bollie who leap around the stage like Zebedee on acid, and shout a lot, of course they do have a Bollywood style production going on around them to take attention away from the fact they have as much singing talent as used bathwater.  So I wonder who'll win......  Yep probably!

The best part of last nights show was Louie Walsh in a spoof advert.




Louisa






And Reggie N Bollie, well they are in there somewhere.......




Saturday, December 12, 2015

Sort of photo


 As I haven't taken any pics for a while and it's pouring with rain, I made this in photoshop, it's just a pattern, but it's a bit of fun.  It's fire through glass spiralded.


Weather is getting me down


 I don't know what the weathers like in your part of the world but in my bit of South Wales it's pretty crap, my neighbour has nearly finished building his ark   (how did Noah see where he was going?... Flood light of course) and to be honest I thinking of buying a bloody boat myself.
  Now as far as flooding goes I'm one of the lucky one's, I'm too high up to ever really get flooded,but I do feel sorry for those who have been hit, some more than once I'm hearing.
 The problem for me isn't just the rain it's the dark dank grimness of the days, some days I feel like I'm north of the Aortic circle in the the long Polar winter, it's hardly getting light some days.  And that's just bloody depressing if you ask me.  Maybe winter should come with some Prozac or something.
 So if you live in a nice sunny place like Arizona, or Bondi beach and fancy living in a dark, wet, gloomy shit hole give me a shout, maybe we can swoop....   Yes I know, I'm not holding my breath....

Teen killed using a "hover board" (balanceboard)


 Nawaf Al-Tuwayan age 15 was killed after he fell off his so called hover board and was hit by a bus in North London this week.
 Why they are called hover boards when the don't hover is just a small part of the problem with these stupid dangerous devices.  Far bigger problem is unless you have a long drive or private land you can't use them.
 It's an offence under 72 of the Highway Act 1835 to ride them on the pavement in Wales or England, and an offence under UK law to ride them on the road as they are not approved or crash tested for road use, and they fail constructions and use regulations for lighting etc..
 Add in the fact that something like 88% of the ones tested (15.000) were found to be defective, and a known fire risk and you have the Christmas present from hell.
 So if you love and care about your children/grandchildren/the kid next door, etc, don't buy them a death trap... Please.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Communications and cars.....


 Yet again I seem to be in a limbo of communications, a sort of Bermuda triangle of silly bastards who can't be bothered to answer the phone. 
 Seriously why people spend £800 on a top of the range, state of the art, makes the fucking tea in the morning, tells the bloody time in 12 languages I-fucking-phone beats me if they are too stupid to figure out they are supposed to answer it when it rings. 
"Uncle George killed by a bear" "you didn't know?" "really !", well if you answered the phone you'd know.  "Auntie Mable gored to death by the sideboard?"  "You didn't know?"  WELL TRY ANSWERING THE BLOODY PHONE !!!!!!!!!!   Why bother with a mobile phone if you don't want to be in contact.
 Seriously though, one day that call you miss WILL be important!



 My car was due it's annual MOT test this week,exactly why a simple MOT takes half a day is puzzling, especially when the car wasn't actually in the garage the three times I went to look, still it passed which is the important part.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Swansea police need a wake up call !


 It's a Saturday a few weeks before Christmas in the centre of Swansea city, the Christmas market is in full swing and the centre is heaving with Christmas shoppers.... How many armed police did I see?   Well none to be exact, and that was over several hours in the middle of the day!. 
 Keep in mind Swansea has a huge immigrant population and as Wales second city could be easily considered a target for a terror attack.  So no armed police for the terrorists to worry about... Actually no bloody police at all, not even the council wardens who used to be about, no the only protection Swansea has are a few down and outs drunk and in shop doorways. 
 Honestly if baffles me, don't the police take any threats seriously?  We've heard of the terrible attack in Paris, God help the people of Swansea if the bad guys try something similar, they could have a field day until someone gets around to waking up Swansea sleeping policeman.... Or are all Swanseas police guarding the people of London? It wouldn't surprise me to be honest.

Computers... Grrrrrrr!


 I was clearing out some temporary files the other day and I still had my headphones on from watching youtube, and every time I left clicked on something it made a click in the headphones.....Why for fucks sake?  I'm pressing the bloody  right click, why does stupid Windoze (I spell it this way) need to tell me I'm pressing a button!  I know, I just pressed it.
 Then we come to deleting a folder.  Hover over the folder and Windoze says this folder in emprty (it knows it's empty) then when I go to delete the folder it says do you want to delete this folder and contents, what contents? 3 seconds ago you told me it was empty!   I though goldfish are supposed to have a short memorys not bloody computers, if it cant remember 3 seconds how bad can a computer be. FFS!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Aren't the dark nights fun, and bloody dangerous.


 Aren't the dark nights fun, and bloody dangerous. 
 Last night I saw a ninja scooter-ist (kid on a scooter all in black) going down a steep hill at speed in the middle of the road.  Now that's not too bad you'd think, especially if the road is quiet, the risky bit is the road in question is littered with bit's of branch. Now those scooters have very small wheels, hit a small branch and your off.... And that's where it gets dodgy, your all in black on a dark twisting steep hill, and car following you don't the hill is going to get bugger all warning if your lying in the road on a bend all in black.
 Come on people have a bit of common sense.... Please.....

Air Asia flight QZ8501 crash report. Here we go again!

 Indonesia NTSC (air safely body) has determined that the cause of last Decembers crash was electrical issues which resulted in the crew having to switch off auto pilot. This in turn led to the crew having to fly the plane manually, something they were unable to do. In other words they came off auto pilot, got the plane into a stall and couldn't recover from t.
 Now we've been here before, sadly many times.  It seems that modern flight crews simply can't fly the planes properly on manual. Theres been quite a number of accidents caused by the flight crew even not knowing which way to pull or push the stick, indeed pulling back on the flight controls to "dive" the plane is surprisingly common (and totally wrong)   What happens is the plane looses speed so the crew member flying pulls back on the stick (or wheel) to put the nose up to gain speed and height.... except that has the opposite effect, slowing the plane down.  The point is reached where the plane stalls, at this point the crew are usually baffled by whats happening and try and pull the nose up more.
 When the plane finally stalls properly the crew should do what every student pilot is taught, level the wings to prevent a spin, push the nose down and add power, provided you have enough height this works well (as any student pilot will tell you) the plane will recover from the stall (note not a deep stall *) and provided speed is kept high enough the aircraft will continue to fly normally when you level out.
 The problem is modern flight crews simply don't fly the planes, it's almost all on auto pilot, with the exception of the first and last 2 minutes of the flight the computer does it all. These days they don't have any experience of actually flying, maybe they should all have to do 10 hours a week flying small aircraft to keep their hands in so to speak..
 Strange when you think that during the war, very young inexperienced pilots often with only a few dozen hours were flying to Germany and back often at night, and coming back many were shot up with engines out.  God help if most of out super-duper airline pilots tried it.


* Note some aircraft, mostly those with a high T tail can get into whats called a deep stall, the tail T part gets into the disturbed airflow from the stalling wings, this cause the elevators to loose effect, causing the flight crew to be unable to alter the pitch of the aircraft, this means they can't push the nose down to recover from the stall.