Saturday, May 28, 2016
Bank holiday weekend
Oh joy it's a bank holiday weekend. Now we can look forward to it pissing down with rain. Ice creams being £4 each, crap fetes charging £5 to walk around the local park and be chased by dogs.
A 17 hour trafic jam because a chav in a Ford mondeo lost a wheel trim on the motorway and the highways agency have closed 300 miles of motorway while one man in a yellow jacket talks into his phone while pretending to look for it.
Flights will be delayed, despite the passengers having to turn up 3 days before the flight to check in (yet curiously first class passengers can still arrive a lot later and their luggage manages to make the flight)
Traffic wardens will be out in force ticketing cars that stop at the traffic lights.
The twenty first century transport system will have bugger all buses or trains running, despite the fact everybody want to go out.
Staying at home wont be any fun either, telly will have more repeats of Porridge and Last of the Summer Wine. The garden will be full of smoke from people trying to light their barbecue in the pouring rain and howling gale, and you'll be deafened by the lawn mowers and strimmers.