Sunday, June 7, 2015

How to make a film for the Syfy channel.

 How to make a film for the Syfy channel. Why did they stop using Si-fi?  
 Find about half a dozen good looking young people for the cast, acting ability not required, indeed the less able to act the better for the film.  You'll need one or two older less attractive people to be the professors or baddies, again acting ability not required.
 The plot, have a mixed group of young scientists investigating dinosaurs, bigfoot, a twenty armed octopus, a radioactive shark, any bloody thing in fact.  The less credible the better. Maybe throw in some time travel as well.
 Special effects.  Now these can be expensive (ask George Lucas) so your best bet is to outsource your radioactive shark or whatever to India, here the visual effects will cost about £3,   OK they wont be quite up to Industrial Light and Magic standard.... Well to be honest they'll be shit!  But then nobody will notice (well George Lucas will but he wont watch your film) because all the other films on the Syfy channel have shit special effects as well.
 The last step is to release your film, don't bother going to the cinema to watch it because.   A nobody else will, and B it wont be released in the cinema it'll go straight to DVD, and then about 5 minutes later the Syfy channel with all the other dire science fiction films, or should that be scyence fyction? 

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