It must be Christmas... It's November!

Yes it must be Christmas, it's November and the bloody crap Christmas adverts have been on for days.
Why it's thought to be a good idea to ram really terrible boring Christmas adverts down our throats for two months baffles me.  I mean do they really think we don't know Christmas is coming?   Curiously it's turned up on the 25th December for as long as I can remember, and I'm pretty sure for a good while before I can remember.
The Christmas adverts always have huge tables groaning under the weight of tons of food (wonder if Ethiopian Christmas adverts have as much food?) theres always people with those ghastly Christmas jumpers, and theres always the same bloody awful Christmas songs playing.  The same hideous songs they'll play in the supermarket for two months as well.
You can get a five bird roast in some supermarkets, (why does that make me think of premier league football players?) I'm going to ask my supermarket if the have one with swan, penguin, eagle, robin and albatross, bloody hell a breast anyone? I'd definitely need a bigger oven for that bugger!
Then theres the really rubbish overpriced crackers... Yes we all need a tiny one inch comb, or a plastic thimble, I don't think anyone has used a thimble in decades?, and how could we live without a 1p flimsy paper fire trap hat that'll tear as you try to put it on and make the bloody awful jumper look even worse.
The trouble is it actually puts people off Christmas, by the time December come we're all totally pissed off with the whole Christmas thing. 
Still by December the 26th you be able to buy an Easter egg, cheaper than a turkey but it's crap if you stuff and cook it!