Hmmm well track me down.....

 It seems I am now the proud owner of a digital tracking chip that I'm told can find whatever it's attached to anywhere.
 The big question is what the bloody hell to I attach it too?.
 Never loose my keys?  I haven't lost a key in years.
 Find your car in the car park... yeah that will be handy trying to find the biggest bloody car in my local shopping car park which must have all of about 40 spaces. Some days I must spend oh.... all of 30 seconds looking for it.
 I could attach it to my phone, but I need the phone to track the chip so I can't see that being a big success.
 I think I'll bung it in my camera bag for now and see if it works.