Alaskan killer bigfoot tv series review.

 

 A new bigfoot series started this week Alaskan killer bigfoot. Three Alaskan locals return to the vilage of Portlock Alaska.  The village was abandoned in 1950 after a series of unexplained deaths, many blamed on bigfoot (known locally as Nantinaq) the idea is to see if it's safe to reinhabit the village for the growing community.

 Well where do I start!  First the three locals are all scared witless (not a big leap for them) by the ledgends and what they've been told by their village elders, every sound, every creak of a tree is Nantinaq coming to kill them, run away time.  Then theres the bear guard the elders have sent to protect them (we'll come back to this point later) he's frankly not much less scared than the "heros" but he's not scared enough to give the rest of them bear spray.... until the second day, good job the bear didn't show up on day one then!

 He's also not scared enough to actually carry his rifle all the time, and mostly when he is carrying it it's slung over his shoulder.  Back in my army days a sling wasn't allowed on a rifle, it had to be in your hand or arms reach away, you cant shoot something with your shoulder, and the few seconds it takes to get the rifle off could be your last.

 This suggests two things, either he's a total moron (I've not ruled that out yet) or he knows theres fuck all there to be scared of in the first place and all the bullshit noises and crap is the crew.

 Then theres the fake drama shit like all the bigfoot programs, "whats that noise", a knock,  panic, something moving in the trees as the camera looses focus... for the first time... supprise supprise!

 Then we come back to the team of heros selected to return and map out the old village and see if it's safe (this is the bit I mentioned returning to)...  Now lets see, we're sending three men to face a possible deadly killer bigfoot, lets pick three experienced woodsmen and hunters armed to the teeth with huge guns and bowie knives... or we could just send the three stooges unarmed with a joking bear guard.  Yeah that'll do it  So they all die, it'll make great a telly program, bit of a bitch for their families but who gives a shit as long as the tv company make a ton of money selling this crap.

 So will they all die?, will they map the village and come home heros?, will they find Nantinaq?, will they fuck!  This lot couldn't find a ladder in a suitcase.

Waynes rating   1/10 (it's really that bad)  I watch this so you don't have to, please send me a medal.