I get the feeling nobody trusts me.....

I get the feeling nobody trusts me....  Well, sort of.  No bugger will lend me a chainsaw!
 Even my mates wont trust me with a can of petrol, a box of matches and a very overgrown garden... Well it will fix it in a manner of speaking, it did last time even if the flames were higher than the house... To be fair the house is still there so I wasn't that bad.  Will they let me do it again, no bloody chance!
 My friend wont even trust me by the fridge, ok it is covered in magnets and someone..... who is best left unnamed does keep hiding the magnets, and just occasionally it takes her a few days to find the fuckers... but it's just a bit of harmelss fun.  After all no magnets were harmed.
 One of my friends wont even trust me to give her swiming lessons (I'm a pretty fair swimmer) Heck I even made at my own expense armbands for her, custom made mind you!  Yes ok they were made of lead but hey! it was all I had at the time, and I painted them orange, thats got to count for something.
 So there you have it. Nobody trusts me.... I wonder why?  
 Now wheres that spare can of petrol, my zippo lighter needs filling, I'll do it by the garden... I can see better there....  😅