Wayne on the warpath!

 When I get to be prime minister or king look out!  Some things I'll be changing.

 Disabled parking spaces.  It should be an offence to park in one of these if the disabled person isn't with you, punishable by death by beheading!  Being a fat lazy bitch isn't a valid excuse.

 Mini roundabouts.  Either remove the bloody things or teach the fucking morons around here how they work.  For those who don't know (and that appears to be about 85% of the people here) you give way to traffic on your right, and your supposed to drive around them clockwise. Not just drive across the front of traffic blindly on the wrong bloody side.  Twats!

 One way streets.  Please note this actually means your only supposed to drive down it in one direction, That direction is marked by a sign, it doesn't mean you can drive down it any way you like because you can't be bothered to go all the way around the one way system.

More builders!

Yesterday (monday) a builder (yes just the one) turned up to fasten the cables they left hanging loose on thursday last week.  Seeing as they turn up about one day a week my house should be finished by Christmas....  They just won't say which Christmas.
Too bad I don't live in Egypt, I could have watched them build a pyramid or two while my builders try to figure out how to add wall insulation to a house.

Bloody builders!

 The other night I came close to murdering my next door neighbours, and taking a lump hammer to the community centre.
 Perhaps I should explain. After getting home late in the evening, and being very very tired I tried to go to sleep. The trouble was my neighbours (normally very nice and quiet) were outside on the front door drinking and chatting. Once in bed the trouble started, a "knock, knock, knock on the wall. It sounded like someone chucking a ball at the wall.  I shouted at my son, but it wasn't him (he thought it was me) at that point things took a turn for the worst, the bugler alarm on the community centre joined in.  And did so for twenty minutes out of every forty five minutes all bloody night!
 By about 0330 I was ready to gut and kill my neighbours, who had gone in a long time ago (not long after the alarm started ringing) and would cheerfully have knocked down the whole community centre with said lump hammer, sadly I haven't got one!
 In the end I went to sleep in the back room downstairs with earplugs in, but ended up with about two hours sleep at best.
 Next morning my son informs me he figured out what the knocking sound was last night, the builders have moved some wires and left one loose, it's a big thick cable and was knocking on the wall in the wind.
 My neighbours were innocent all along.  But it shows how desperate some people get with lack of sleep, I was looking on eBay for grenade launchers......

Scotts pit infra red (black and white)

Return to scotts pit.

 I went back to Scotts pit yesterday while I was in the area, got a few pics.

Deodorant

 I've just wasted five minutes of my dwindling life trying to spray myself with deodorant, why five minutes?  Simple!. The bloody spray can has a safety catch, and not just any old safety catch, a hidden one.
 Now why a can of under arm deodorant needs a safety catch is a bigger question, I mean yes an AK47 should have a safety catch, and one of those buttons that launch air to air missiles needs a safety catch, but bloody under arm deodorant?  Why?  How dangerous is this stuff?
 I have nuclear strength oven cleaner in the kitchen, that hasn't got a safety catch and that will burn your eye's and lungs to a cinder in seconds.  I have fly spray, bloody lethal if your a bluebottle, but that doesn't have a safety catch either, and by God it make me cough if I use a lot of the stuff (no wonder it kills the bluebottles!)
 Yet something supposedly designed to spray on the human body, and presumably tested on poor long suffering bunnies is so dodgy it needs a secret hidden safety catch.  Fuck it!,  I'll just smell in future it's safer!

In the news this week

 The metropolitan police are making a big fuss about their own new SAS style officers for combating terrorists.... Good idea but it's not new, they have had them for years.  Originally named D6, then D11, then it changed to PT17, more recently it changed again to SO19, and is now called CO19.  Yes the training has got better but since PT 17 they were trained and used for hostage rescue etc.

 Well yesterday I was a proper hot sunny day, and of course offical panic set in.  Check your elderly neighbours we're told. Don't leave your dog in a car the same temperature as an oven we're told. Stay hydrated we're told. Wear factor 1.000.000 suncream we're told. (where was that in Nigasaki?}  Wear a hat, we're told.  Keep children in a dark airtight room we're told.... No hang on the last bits not quite right....  No, it was keep children out of the sun. Yes thats was it!.    Yes the nanny state went into burnout.

 On some beaches lifguards went round offering suncream to beach goes, why not ice cream?
 The problem is it's all a huge waste of time and money, you see the normal sensible people do these things anyway, and the morons simply ignore the advice

 Somehow all those years ago I spent the whole of my summer hollidays virtually living on the beach (6+ weeks} without all this advise,and couriously I'm still here.  My parents must have been sensible then... Yes common sense was a wonderful thing, I wonder what happened to it.......

 Well if you like tennis your in for a treat. If like me you don't your screwed!  The BBC {britain biggest cash-cow) has switched to Wimbleton mode, that means all our licence money is now being spent on champers and strawberries for the 17 million people the BBC laughingly calls an outside broadcast unit!  Seriously they probably have more people there than general public.  To add insult to wallet injury the entire BBC tv is now bloody Wimbleton fixated, we have Wimbleton weather forcast, fuck the licence payers who don't live in Wimbleton and want their weather.  We have Wimbleton news, we're fighting a war on terror and the high point of the news is ball pressure.  Then the programs... well there as some after about 18 hours of grunting overpaid idiots in shorts at... Yes you guessed it.. Bloody Wimbleton.