Time for a rant!

 Ok I've earned it, I've worked myself for it, and by golly I'm going to have a rant.

 First off ITV4... or the begging channel as I like to call it.  My God there's a lot of begging for money in the adverts on ITV4.  Seriously it's bloody ridiculous.
 There's the adverts trying to get you to adopt a dolphin...  Really?  Last year I adopted a snow leopard, it's got out of the shed twice and bitten my neighbour, where the fuck to I keep a dolphin?  It cant go in the shed the leopard will eat it, and I'm dammed if I'm sharing the bath with bloody "flipper".
 Being serious what the fuck will the dolphin charity do with the money anyway? Whats left after the CEO takes his 150k and the overheads of the officers and cars cant really do much for the dolphins in the real world, half the time you cant even find the fuckers.

 Then theres the begging adverts for little Ahmed or whatever the kids name is. You know the ones.  "Poor Ahmed has to walk ten miles from his parents mud hut every day just to get water".
 Well first off how the fuck did they build a mud hut ten miles from water, last time I checked mud is earth and WATER. Did the family really carry the water ten miles to build their hut?   And why the hell build it so far away from water in the first place. Did drinking not occur to them??
 Secondly, why have children in the first place if there no bloody food and water, what you just expected the west to pay their upkeep for you?   Why the hell should we fund your children's upbringing. And why send the children for water anyway, what are mum and dad doing?
 Again most of the donations end up funding the charity not the people who actually need the money.


 Christmas!!!

 Two days ago Nov the 6th I saw my first Christmas advert.  WTF it's early November you pratts,    Christmas is six bloody weeks away. By the time we get to December everyone is sick and tired of stupid Christmas adverts. I'm already considering banning Shitmas. Just think of the money you'll save.  No terrible cards with Dickensian scenes or the dreaded Christmas robin on them (where can I get robin poison?). No overpriced salmonella turkey, overcooked veg and a table full of unwanted realitives you avoid all year because you hate the bastards. Now your feeding the lazy fuckers.
 No bloody Christmas presents (well you buy yourself something obviously) most never get used anyway, like the sad jumpers and wrong size slippers you get every year.  Seriously you could save thousands!

Yes I'm a right miserable git .  But I'm still right...