Retard repellent?

Can someone please point me in the direction of a shop that sells retard repellent?  Seriously!   It doesn't matter where I am, the bloody retards always find me. And frankly I'm getting very pissed off with it.
This evening I was on a deserted beach about 4 miles long and the fucking mindless moron still homed in on me, 4 bloody miles of empty beach at night and the bastard still comes to the only bit I'm on. 
Why for Gods sake?  
Does it really not occur to other people that some of us like to be left alone, "he's only being friendly" says someone, well so was bloody Dr Crippin but I don't want him for a mate either. 
I have friends, and if I want more I'll choose them myself, not just pick up wandering retards at night off the bloody beach.
I'm sorry to rant but I'm reaching the point where sooner or later I'm going to turn nasty with one of these dozy idiots, and as the Hulk used to say "you won't like me when I'm angry" well trust me you wont be jumping for joy with me either when I finally loose it.
So heres an idea, if you see a stranger wandering about minding his own business, bloody leave him alone, it might be me in a REALLY BAD MOOD!!!!