Expedition bigfoot tv series

 Well after the terrible not finding bigfoot I didn't have high hopes for this... I wasn't disappointed.
 Expedition bigfoot, it's tagline is four elite specialists hunt for bigfoot.
 Well elite in what way exactly? We have one ex soldier who I'm guessing isn't special forces or we'd have been told he was, we have two bigfoot enthusiasts, and a primatologist/anthropologist who had to ask another member of the team "how likely are we to see cougars" so not much of an expert on animals.
 This is the "specialist" "elite" team, one of whom drops out in the first episode.
 I think it's safe to say we'll have the same load of crap we had with finding bigfoot, vague shapes on thermal imaging, odd nosies in the night and finding fuck all.
 Bigfoot is safe again untill someone does it properly.
Has she got scary eyes or what?

Looked great through the lens... why doesn't it work??

 I took this the other day, now it looked great through the lens, I resized it and tweaked it a tad and now it just doesn't work for me.
 How annoying is that, and why did it look so great through the camera, I guess I'll never know.

the poltergeist has a sense of humour.

 Came down this morning, had my cuppa and bath, go to get shopping and WTF!  One of my boots has buggered off.  It's done a smegging runner...
 Ok I always put my shoes/boots together in the same place, indeed there about three pairs there, well two and a bloody half today. It seems the other one boot has decided to sit in front of the living room fire (not thats it's ever on) Now it's not moved that far distance wise and I know they are technically walking boots but they are supposed to only walk with me in them, not saunter off around the house by themselves when they get bored.
 Next my bloody ice axe will be popping up Everest without me.

Dark and moody...

 The dark and gloomy woods... well it is now...

My poltergeist is at it again!

 I've mentioned the odd things that happen in my house before, I'm fairly sure theres a poltergeist sharing the property rent free. Now I'm not having stuff thrown around or chairs stacked on the table like the movie. Mine is more subtle.
 Basically stuff goes missing, then turns up in a place you already looked days or weeks later
 The Y bracket was a classic case. I'd tipped out the bag it was found in at least three times looking for it, keep in mind I'm looking for about an eight inch black metal Y bracket. Not something small you could overlook, and I'm actually emptying the bag on my bed and replacing the items one by one. Bloody hard to miss a black metal bracket like that.
 Anyway the latest thing to go missing was my light meter, this does ambient light or flash, I was going to test the new ringflash gadget with it to see how much difference the different diffusers made. Was it in it's usual place NO!  Bugger, I knew it was in the house, and I knew where it should be, I litterally took all the bits out of the corner it lived (boxes of go-pro brackets, my box of chargers ect ect). No meter.  Last night I went to get a charger out of the box and ... the bloody meter was on top of the box.
 Now I know what your thinking, you think I'd moved the box and not noticed the meter on the top. WRONG!, I'd opened the box and taken out all the chargers to check it wasn't inside, it's a hinged lid, anything on top would have fallen off when I opened it. Theres no way it was there when I searched that area a few days before.
 Why it happening I have no idea, and I'm not too bothered by sharing the house with  ghost, it's not really that much of pain, it's not doing stuff every day to be fair. I just wish it would do usefull stuff like sorting my recycling, or washing dishes.

Thinking of registering the dog as a designer/ architect

 I'm seriously thinking of registering the dog as a designer/ architect.
 After all he shouldn't have trouble passing the exams from what I've seen of designers and architects.
 I've get a washing machine designed at huge expense thats afraid of water, I've got energy saving light bulbs that use more energy than a normal bulb and last less time than a mayflies lunch-break.
 I've got shampoo bottles that wont stand up and deodorant spray cans you need a degree in engineering to use due to them needing a safety catch (how bloody dangerous is the stuff?)
 I've lived in a house with a very small kitchen with three bloody doors in it, so no room for a fridge or washing machine, and the only place for the cooker was right in front of the only window, so fuck all light in that room.
 My brothers new house is so small he cant get the sofa and armchair in the living room without blocking the stairs totally, talk about cant swing a cat, you'd have trouble passing a mouse hand to hand.
 I see toilets in railway and bus stations with cubicles so small travelers with a bag can't actually get in them and close the door.  Supermarkets that have car parks designed to make ALL the traffic go past the front door which holds up people trying to get in and out of the shop, and then theres the chicane inside the front door, dont you want people to get in and more importantly how the fuck do they get out if theres a fire and the lights go out?
 My car needs to be dismantled to change a bloody bulb, I've got house doors that either wont stay open or stay closed (how fucking hard is that to build?)  The list is endless.
 Thats why my dog wont have trouble passing the exam, after all he cant do worse than the twats who designed all the above and he just might do better... I know I could do a LOT better.

Conker spider....

 Here's a photo of the deadly conker spider, these creatures are responsible for over a billion deaths a year in Britain alone....   Or I could have just bunged a pair of eyes on a conker case I found in the woods.... 
 Yeah you got me...