Arse backwards....

Why does a packet of biscuits need to be sealed in plastic that could withstand a direct hit from a 10mt nuclear bomb, yet a black rubbish bag falls apart if you drop a tissue in it?

Locking wheel nuts!!!

My car has locking wheel nuts.  Years ago the naughty people used to go out jack up a car and steal the wheels.  So now we have "thief resistant" wheels (note I used the word resistant, not proof) This is achieved by fitting some of the wheel nuts with a special nut that needs a key nut to remove it.
The problem is that there's only about a dozen different keys, and you can buy them all online. And far more importantly the nuts are not made out of steel, oh no!, they are made out of a steel case with a ceramic core.  This means A it's easy enough to steal the buggers, and B the nut itself if fairly fragile...  Yes you know where this is going.
I had to have some new tyres last week, after changing one, the tyre fitter sheared the locking nut on the other wheel, which meant I couldn't replace that tyre, or worse change the wheel if I get a puncture.  To be fair he did warn me it might break but I needed the tyre changed so had no choice. We did try a few tricks but the nut is bloody welded on.
I'm guessing that when the mechanics put the wheels back on after the MOT some 18 stone bruiser with muscles like Arnie tightned it up with a five foot bar.
Information for mechanics:  Wheel nuts should be tightened to around 100nm (103 nm for my car) with a torque wrench.  Not tighened by Guy the bloody gorrilla with a length of scaffold pole over the wheel brace for leaverage. And for what it's worth, most air guns will over tighten the nuts.

And in the news today....

Michigan based Randal Olson has been plotting how to find wally. (wheres wally) he plotted 68 pages in 7 books to come up with a kernal density estimation and the best way to find wally.  Heres a man with far too much time on his hands.  Mr Olsen you need to get a life, really you do!.

Your smart telly may be spying on you, it seems some tv's (and xboxes) record what your saying and may pass it on to a third party, so watch what you say in front of the telly.

Don't feed the birds in your garden. Eric Goleby from Norfolk has  been threatened with eviction after a complaint by a nieghbour, Eric and his disabled wife recieved a letter from Victory Housing trust telling him to stop feeding the birds.  Some victory for freedom!  Victory trust should be ashamed of themselves.

Kerry Dean from Glasgow was forced to undergo an internal medical exam in the food preperation area of a Thompsons flight from Tunisia because she was pregnant, she was then refused to be allowed to fly on that aircraft.  Frankly not only is it disgusting to treat a pregnant woman like this, but to examine her in the food preperation area?  That has to be breaking some hygiene laws.

Barclays bank have stopped some 270.000 customes from having a premier life account because they don't earn £75.000 a year, it seems Barclays only wants upmarket rich people as customers. Well not a problem, if you have an account simply close it a go elsewhere.  And next time the bank needs a bail-out maybe the rich should pay it instead of the country.  I closed my account with them years ago after no end of problems.

Forced laughter on TV.

Forced laughter on TV.
I was looking for something to watch on the 84 trillion TV channels we now have (which still all show rubbish repeats) and I stumbled over a chat show,  the host was laughing at the "celebrity's" funny stories.  the trouble was the hosts laugh was so forced it looked and sounded like he was taking the piss, and the celebrity's funny story was about a funny as diarrhea in cycling shorts, or developing a second head.
The thing is we see it all the time on telly, we just tune it out, but look closely next time and see how often the presenter or host forces a laugh at a diabolically unfunny comment or story by some other person on the show, you might be supprised just how often it happens.
Even worse in my humble opinion is canned laughter on comedy shows. I mean what are the producers really saying?  Is it the audience are too dumb to know whan it's funny and when to laugh?, or worse (and the usual reason) is the show is so unfunny in the first place theres no laughter from the studio audience even with the laugh cards held up, so in a desperate attempt to make us think it's funny they add the laughs. Why not just make the show funny in the first place.
Easily the worst I've seen is John Bishop, my God how bad has a stand up comic got to be to need canned laughter.  He proves that not every Liverpudlian can be funny, indeed I've had more laughs getting blown up than I had watching his show (and I mean that).

Why is everything so insanely complicated these days.... ?

Why is everything so insanely complicated these days?  Seriously, everything made to improve our lives and make them easier just make it all a billion times harder!

Take computers, just to install one small program, which should be a piece of cake, means I have to get administrative privileges (It's my computer with one account why wouldn't that user be the administrator?) then before I can install that teeny-weenie little program the computer decides it needs about six other programs installed first before it can take the one I actually want.  Why for Gods sake? The same small program works fine on an old antiquated computer without all the other crap.  How is this making life easier or better?
Cars.  On the weekend I was using a new "key-less" car. Well when I say key-less it has a flat square box thing that goes in a slot on the dashboard, then you push a button to start it.  So much easier than putting in a key and turning it! (large hint of sarcasm!)
The problem with this ridiculous system is A. the key-less key is about four times the size of a normal key (and needs a battery) and B. You just try turning the bastard off!!!
Well I spent bloody ages trying to work out how to turn off the ignition, in the old terrible world of hard work we had before, you turned the bloody key the other way and took it out. Job done. Fucking hard work that! (yes more sarcasm)
Now in the improved world of we'll make your life easier for you, what you have to do is....  With the engine running you press the start button (makes so much sense!) then take out the key card thing, then press the start button twice more (making even less sense), now get out of the car and lock the door, then the ignition goes off.   Well doesn't that make things so much easier than turning the fucking key off and taking it out.  What planet do these people live on!
If there is a God please let me have five minutes alone with the person who came up with this brilliant idea, only five minutes... and a baseball bat!   No, don't worry I'll bring my own bat!

A few black and white and some sunsets.

Here's a few from today.
(yes I know the horizon is crooked in one shot.  I uploaded the wrong pic, but they are buggers to change on the blog so I've left it.)

An interesting thought (from David Osborne)

Barrister David Osborne has raised an interesting point by saying consent is consent even if the person is drunk. He is saying a person who gets themselves blind drunk gives consent and regrets it in the morning hasn't been raped.  Judges say that if a person is unfit to make a judgment about giving consent it's classed as rape.
The interesting bit is the fact that being drunk and unfit to make an informed decision isn't applied anywhere else in law.
If your caught pissing in the middle of the high street wearing a traffic cone hat, try telling the Bobbie who arrests your that your steaming after 29 pints of Carling and it seemed like a good idea at the time, and see how far that gets you.
Because that's basically what those women are doing.