Press photographer dodgy tricks...

 Now I cant see me returning to press photography in any serious way in the future so I'm going to pass of some of the tricks I was told or picked up. Now none of these are my original idea (most have been used for decades) and some are dodgy legally and could get you into trouble with the law.
 I'm not suggesting you use any of these, this is for information only.

 One tip was if "doorstepping" (waiting to get shots of someone outside their house/work etc) a suspected criminal or someone on a murder or serious case.  What you were told to do was ring the police and say there was a fight at that address. You'd then get the police outside his house often with your subject talking to them.  In the paper this would go in as Joe Blogs was charged or suspected or whatever, it just looks more serious with the police there than some bloke with his daily paper.  This is the dodgy one, it's wasting police time at best, and could lead to other charges as it could cause a fight when the police turn up. Other tricks were to call a taxi to the house to get him to the door.

 The next idea was one I personally really don't like, it's to carry a teddy bear and childs shoe, then when covering a road accident involving a child you'd place one or both in the road in the foreground. The idea being to make the image more emotive.  I point blank refused that one, the family are suffering enough at the loss of a child without fake bullshit in the photos.  They'll know it's not their childs teddy.  This was very common back in the 1970-80-90s you dont see it so much now.

 Set up sports pics. Back in my day you'd often have to cover 3 football games on a saturday afternoon, all starting around the same time, obviously you don't have long at any one game. One trick was to get to the first game early and get your home goaly diving into the net saving a few practice kicks. Then if he managed to save a goal after you'd left that match you had a shot.

Todays pics April 30th

 Well this is the last of this batch, I'll be finding something else for tomorrow.

Todays pics April 29th

Another two for today.

todays pics April 28th

 Todays ration of pics.

Todays pics April 27th

 And a few for today.

As the actress said to the bishop.....

 As the actress said to the bishop, touch it and you pay for it...  Yes a rubbish joke but something many could learn from.
 Twice in the last week in my local supermarket I've seen people going along the shelves just touching every item for nothing. 
 In one case it was jars of gold blend coffee, the bloke was taking each identical jar off the shelf to read the labels.  Now I'm not talking different roasts, the same fucking jars.  What did he hope to find different?  Trouble is your contaminating every item you touch.
 In the other case a bloke was turning all the tins of soup so the labels faced out. WTF is wrong with people? you can still see what bloody soup it is even if it's turned slightly, and yet again your handling stuff some other poor bastard is going to buy.

 So here it is folkes touch it and you bloody buy it... as the actress said.

Todays pics April 26th

 And todays exiciting installment of....   Daaa da da daaa daaa!!!   pictures.

 Yes ok I'm borerd shitless too!

Packaging? Whats going on?

 I don't know if your like me but I've been buying some stuff online (partly because all the bloody shops are shut) Now you always get the odd tricky package but recently it's gone mad!
 The last few packages I've bought seem designed to stay shut despite the best efforts of the opener.
 Todays package had the two items inside glued to the inside of the padded bag WTF!  Why? Now keep in mind I'm opening these wearing gloves for safety and it's a PITA.
 A few days ago I received a real belter of a package, a parcel about the size of two tissue boxes, sealed in black plastic and wrapped in clear tape.  Seriously it looked for all the world like one of those parcels of cocaine you see on the movies, god know what postie thought!  Theres been a decorators van parked outside my house for 4 days since with mirrored glass in the back....The feds must be watching...
 But being serious I had a bastard of a job opening it, I even used a bloody big bowie knife at one point. Now I wouldn't mind so much if there was a £1000 worth of lens in there, but no.  It was £12 worth of surgical fucking gloves. Hardly fragile, you could throw it off a roof and not damage the contents.

Gloves and masks? what are you doing with them?

  Being serious for a minute what are you doing with your used gloves and masks?  Really they are clinical waste and should be considered a biohazard.
 They really should be placed is yellow biohazard bags and incinerated... but I wonder how many of you have a biohazard bag?   Not many I suspect.  Never mind the binmen are tough....

Todays Pics April 25th

 Heres todays post of pics.

Todays pics April 24th

 To be honest I'm getting fed up of being stuck in now. Don't get me wrong I don't mind my own company, never have, and I can live without taking to others. It's the not being able to go places thats getting to me, I like to get out into the wilds.

  Heres todays offering.

Todays pics April 23rd

 Yes another few pics, I am starting to get low now.

Todays pics April 22nd

 Todays picture upload. More wood textures, yes I know it's not fantastic but I'm starting to run out of pics now.

Photography kit, handy extra goodies (part 8) odd and ends...

 Some other things I've found handy over the years to have in your camera bag.
 Pain killers, sooner or later you'll have a headache or something and these will be usefull.
 Tissues, a small packet of tissues, as well as wiping your nose they'll clean your lens, and wipe other places should you get caught short in the woods.
 Along the lines of tissues are wet-wipes or baby wipes, handy for cleaning your hands, or freshing up after a long sweaty hike..
Pencil and paper, great for getting an address or leaving a note, you can also pass the time making lists of VERY expensive camera gear your going to buy when you win the lottery....
 Lastly I'd suggest a few plastic bags, I use either nappy bags or food bags from the supermarket, these are handy for all sorts of things, keeping sets of batteries together, keeping charging cables or usb leads tidy, keeping your phone dry if it pours down, even as a last resort collecting water or tinder if your have to spend a night out, dont forget a few water purification tablets.  I keep a few in my wallet, well theres never any money in there so why not!

todays pics April 21st

NHS madness!!!

 My 86 year old disabled mother with a heart condition had a routine blood test today, now with the coronavirus you'd think A. they'd have the sense to cancel routine tests, and B. if they really had to be done they'd be using common sense.  No fucking chance.
 Oh no, what they did was try hard to get me to take her into the surgery as well (despite being told I had to wait outside) then in the room where the nurse does the blood test were three people (normally theres just the nurse)
 WTF? Why have two extra people in a room watching a blood test of an at risk patient?   Thats increasing her risk by 200% why in Gods name are they doing this?  Why try to get me to go in?, I'm in the at risk age group myself and there was NO reason at all for me to be in there (I refused) They were presumably too bastard lazy to push her wheelchair.  Simple answer,  SEND OUT A DISTRICT FUCKING NURSE THEN, thats what we pay them for twats.

Todays pics April 20th

 Yes Im still finding pics to post although I am starting to get low now with lockdown.
Heres todays effort, some more wood textures. All shot on the compact.

Coronavirus testing, what a bloody joke!

 I mentioned in a previous post that the shambles that passes for government in the UK seemed to be almost trying to spread the virus. Indeed their official advice in the beginning was for everybody to catch it and get it over with. Later changed to locking everybody in their house to try and stop it spreading, some would say thats the fastest U-turn since Batmans emergency bat-turn of the 1960's (look it up on youtube).
 A friend thinks she has coronavirus and needs to be tested because of her work, now considering the fact the government wants the whole country on stop, and police are out in force stopping motorists and booking people for buying easter eggs, you'd be forgiven for thinking they'd have a clever way of getting people tested, or for that matter even a simple way of getting whats really a easy job done....  Errr No!
 The best way our great leaders and the combined IQ of COBRA and the NHS could think of was..... (insert drumroll here)   a fucking drive through test centre.  Seriously!  They closed McDonalds drive through because it was too dangerous.  More to the point, a lot of people dont drive, ok they'd have thought of that wouldn't they, after all it's the government and NHS.... well no it seems the village idiots that pass for our leaders never considered non-drivers.
 So it seems if you may have coronavirus and your dont drive and need testing despite official advice to self isolate for 14 days, you have to get a friend and sit 18 inches away from them in the same fucking car.  Oh they do say sit it that back seat so the driver will be safe.... so why six feet apart in a shop and considering tests have shown the virus can travel 7 metres from a single cough I'm not convinced sitting in the back seat is going to cut it.
 Seriously how hard is it for someone to drive to your house, bung a Q-Tip in your piehole and drive away, thus not spreading the virus, they can do that at the front door it takes all of 30 seconds.
 Maybe they are still trying to spread the virus......  it's about the only thing that makes any sense they way they are working..

Todays pics April 18th

 Heres todays offering.

Photography kit, handy extra goodies (part 7) clothes

 Now this is another of those odd ideas to carry in a camera bag. But hear me out.
 My large camera bag that goes on jobs has my high vis vest with the word photographer printed on it, not only does this make you a bit safer if you have to work at the roadside, but it also makes you look more official if your at events.
 Other handy clothes are spare shoe/boot laces (I carry these on my person) and the most common item a waterproof jacket. Not only with this help keep you dry but also warmer on a cold evening.  These can be bought cheaply and you can get some that fold up small.  Now I know I've suggest a festival poncho in a past post but thats for emergency use if your caught out.
 The last two items on my list may seem even stranger, one is spare socks and underwear, this idea came during my days as a press photographer when you could be sent out on what seemed a simple job and be gone for days if a police raid turned into a seige or something (that actually happened) at least you can freshen up with some water and a change of pants.
 The last item is a clean dry teeshirt, this comes from my army days and long marches/runs.  The idea is after a long march when your a sweaty mess you have a nice dry baselayer to put on, you dry off with the microfibre towel I mentioned in a previous post, bung on a dry teeshirt and put your top layers back on, if you've stopped to brew up on the top of say Pen-y-Fan (the highest peak in south Wales) and the wind is bitter a dry shirt next to the skin makes a massive diference, same if your bedding down for the night.
 One last tip (this from the SBS, the Royal Navy answer to the SAS) instead of regular boxer shots try speedos, or budgie smugglers as they are sometimes called.  They dry very quickly when wet and you can use them as a swiming costume (what they are made for) they do feel a bit odd at first but you soon get used to them.

Todays pics April 18th

 For a change I'm posting some wood textures today.

Photography kit, handy extra goodies (part6) tools..

 Now when I say tools I don't mean a 3 ton bottle jack and a full set of snap-on spanners.... although I suppose they could come in handy, I'm talking every day use type tools.
 For me a multitool is pretty much an essential item, my multitool of choice is the Gerber, sadly not a cheap item, but they are well made, with plires, blade, saw, sissors etcs, a sort of swiss army plires.  There are plenty of cheaper ones about, I have a few of the smaller budget friendly ones in various bags, they are not bad, and you wont cry if you loose one.
 These are handy for all sorts of bodging and repairs.
 Next item is ducktape/gaffer tape/gorrilla tape, any of these will do. Easiest way to carry some is put a few feet around an old store or credit card, I find about 3 foot (one metre)  is anough for most on the spot bodgers or repairs, heck I have one of these in my wallet as well, supprised how often it gets used.
 A small knife is usefull, if you have a multitool with a blade it's not so important, but many now come with no blase to be security friendly, not so friendly if you need to cut something.
 Jewelers screwdrivers, I have carried a set of these since forever.  They are just so usefull, as well as tightening any loose camera screws they'll fix your glasses and open those gadget battery holders that these days are bloody screwed shut for some reason.
 The last item on todays list is a small pocket sewing kit.  Now I know some of you are going WTF??  But having had the arse of my trousers split at a motor show and been at countless weddings where something needs sewing it's  bloody handy to have around (and a few safety pins, thats what I used at the motor show)  You could get away with two needles, one threaded with white cotton and the other with black, 99 times out of a hundred that'll get you by.

Todays pics April 17th

 Todays upload of pictures, Stay safe everybody.

Photography kit, handy extra goodies (part 5) towel

 No you didn't read it wrong, I said towel.  In the words of Ford Prefect " I guy's gotta know where his towel is" (hitch hikers guide to the galaxy)  Supprisingly a towel is a pretty handy bit of kit.
 Now I'm not talking about a bath sheet, or a bloody huge towel, my towel of choice is a microfibre camping towel, these are not much bigger that a flannel.  Yet absorbant enough to dry off your whole body if push comes to shove.  Why carry one?  I'll explain.
 Your towel has several uses, as well as drying yourself off after falling in the river, or drying your wet hair after a rain shower you can use it to cover the camera if it's raining,, it'll keep the worst off in a short shower.  You can use it at a push as a large dressing for heavy bleeding or fashion a rather dodgy looking hat if it's sunny  (knot the 4 corners) yes ok you'll look a right twat but your bald head wont burn.
 The last thing to remember is keep it in a sturdy plastic bag, as well as having loads of uses the bag will keep your wet towel (after use) from "leaking" over your expensive camera gear (the plastic bag can be used for collecting water or tinder, sealing a sucking chest wound, or keeping your phone dry)  All in all worth the carry, they are light weight anyway. 

Todays pics April 16th

Photography kit, handy extra goodies (part 4) poncho

 A poncho is a handy thing to have in your camera bag.  You could go for the full blown military type with eyelet holes for making a shelter, to the budget, smaller throw away festival type ones.
 I tend to carry the festival type one, they weigh nothing, pack really small, and if it pours down with rain when your miles from the car trust me you'll be glad you spent the pound it cost (I think they were two for a pound when I bought one).
 Yes it's thin and flimsy but it's keeping you dry, now in summer that might not be a big deal but in winter a good soaking and a cold wind can be downright dangerous.
 On the same line is a camera cape, this is a sort of plastic tube with an elastic end, it fits over your camera and lens and keeps the worst of the rain off.  Again these are not expensive if you buy online, or if your a bit handy you could easily make one yourself with some plastic.

Todays pics April 15th

 Todays we have a broken branch care of bigfoot and a butterfly.

Photography kit handy extra goodies to carry (part 3) first aid

 Now as photographers we're often out and about (or we used to be) and this means that we're at increased risk of a minor accident or coming across someone who has had an accident.
 That in mind a first aid kit of some sort is a handy thing to have with you.
 Now for most people the basics are those little first aid wallets sold by chemists, these have band-aids, a few antiseptic wipes and sometimes a small roll of tape and gloves.  Bung it in your camera bag and sooner or later it'll come in handy.
 Now to be fair I tend to carry more. That said I have had specialist medical training in the past, indeed on my last proper camping holiday (some years back now) I had oxygen, entonox, a defib and a full trauma pack with collars and resus kit, but we were an hour away for any medical help.
 Now my camera  bag kit is just the basics, the plasters (mentioned above) a large crepe bandage (handy for sprains) and I always carry a tourniquet for major bleeding control, another great bit of kit is an Israeli bandage, this is a pressure bandage/field dressing and a poor mans touriquet rolled into one, compressed gauze is another handy thing to have, that and a space blanket (been used a few times) in the car is a better bigger kit with another tourniquet, big dressings, chest seals and airways.  Just in case.
 Remember when you need medical help you usually need it in a hurry, so make sure it's easy to get at.

Todays pics April 14th

 Ok for today I'm doing a variation on pics I've already posted. This is the standing stone, but in a lith style.

Photography kit, handy extra goodies to carry. (part 2) headtorch

 Yes a headtorch. Again this might seem an odd gadget to carry in your camera bag, but they are supprisingly handy.
 I like a reasonably powerfull model and most important it should have an optional red light, these are not expensive from places like ebay.  Remember to carry a set of spare batteries as they are often not the same size as your flashgun batteries.
 Why is it handy, well theres finding your way around in the dark if a shoot runs late, the red light can be used on the back of your head as a warning to motorists if you have to walk home along a road at night, and is more usefull for checking the camera setting on a night photography shoot like the milky way, or traffic light trails, red doesn't affect your natural night vision as much.
 Other uses are finding kit in your bag in a dark corner, or if theres a power cut. If the torch is bright enough you can even add a bit of light to small subjects for macro shots.
 I have a dedicated headtorch that lives in my camera bag full time.

Todays pics April 13th

 And todays upload of pics...  Dandylion macro photos

Photography kit. Handy extra goodies to carry (part1) ground sheet

 As we're still in lockdown I'm going to post some ideas and suggestions for usefull photography kit and handy extra gear to have with you on a days outing.
 Now some of this stuff I'll be covering I carry everyday in my bag, other stuff might get taken out or added depending on what I'm doing and where I'm going shooting.

 Part one.
A  Ground sheet.
 Yes a ground sheet. Now it might seem an odd thing to carry but trust me it's really handy.  The current groundsheet of choice for me is one sold last year by a chain store called Poundland here in the UK.  It's a cheapy sort of dollar store but often has good stuff.
 The ground sheet itself is about 6x3 foot (about 1x2 metres) and is dark green on one side and silver on the other.  Folded it's about the size of a paperback book and weight is hardly noticable.
 Now this is one of those things I always carry in my bag, doesn't matter if it's a wedding or a ten mile walk. Even my small light kit bag (just big enough for a camera and flash) has a half length piece bunged in.
 Why is it so handy?  I'll explain.  First off you can put it on the ground and sit on it if the grounds wet cold or dirty (in weddings we use it on things for the bride to sit on to keep the dress clean) in the wet you can wrap it around yourself to help keep dry, same if your caught out in the cold, an extra wind blocking layer makes a big difference.  These poundland sheets seem supprisingly good insulation wise, I laid on one for about 3 hours once on ice cold concrete in november in bloody freezing weather and I was fine, just touching the bare concrete was like putting your hand on a block of ice, the vinal sheet made a HUGE difference.
 Another use for it is to lay it on the floor and lay on it to get low camera angles and keep clean, or to keep your bag clean if you put it down.
 Lastly as these have holes in the corners you could even rig a small shelter roof if you have any string (I normally carry some)  Now I use a poundland ground sheet, but any thing similar would do.. You could use a large piece of plastic, a tarp or poncho... You get the idea.

Todays pics 12th April

  Looking at the blog I seem to have missed a day, no idea how I managed that, could have sworn I posted yesterday.

 Anyway here the upload for today. Some black and white... you cant see the wood for the trees.....

Dogs love covid 19

 Dogs love covid 19.
 The thing is dogs now have two things they have always wanted.  A. Their owners home more, and B. a LOT more walks.
 Being serious I've never seen so many dogs having walks, everybody is using fido as an excuse to go for a long walk and stare longingly through the pub window.  I suspect some dogs are being hired out to non dog owners.  I'm sure I've seen at least two dogs with about 4 different owners this week.  It might be the same company that hires dogs to big issue sellers to get sympathy money....

Todays pics April 10th

 Today upload of pics.

Red Dwarf the promised land 2020 (review)

 The feature length episode of Red Dwarf aired last night here in the UK.
 Staring the usual cast the episode takes us to the cat people who left Red Dwarf millions of years before (leaving the cat behind) still looking for the promosed land Fuchal (actually fiji) where Lister (called cloister by the cats) was going to retire with his pet cat and his then girlfriend kristine kochanski (originally played by Chloe Annett) that never happened, due to Lister getting put in stasis for 3 million years.... Still following?  If your not a fan it's a bit comlicated, but you get the idea.
 Its good to see Holly back, although now looking a lot older, as indeed are all the cast.  The visual effects are well up to standard and the cast give it their best. 
 Sadly I found it a bit weak compared to the earlier versions. Maybe the episode doesn't work at 90 minutes compared to the normal much shorter running time.
 They did a lot of references to earlier episodes and we see Rimmers various uniforms (see pics)  It's good to see the "Boys from the Dwarf" back all the same.
Waynes Rating 6/10.  Dont miss it if your a fan